U-M addresses seasonal grief in COVID-19 mental health panel discussion

Science Gallery Detroit and Michigan State University will present "Grief During a Time of Joy" on Friday. The virtual panel discussion will feature three University experts discussing anxiety, loss and seasonal depression.

Award-winning poet and LGBTQ activist Natasha T. Miller will host the event, which runs from 6 to 7:30 p.m and will include an audience Q&A.

Miller, who is also a film producer, dedicated herself to providing public spaces for people to speak about their grief following the death of her brother five years ago.

"For the first time, at least 200,000 Americans will be missing their loved ones during the holidays," she said. "I remember the depression I felt when I lost my brother, and the first holiday without him, the first without my aunt, and so forth. That first year is so hard, especially around the holidays, so I wanted a program responding to what a lot of us experienced at Thanksgiving, and will continue to experience in December and the new year.

"A lot of that is paired with also paired with seasonal depression that many people feel even in other years," she continued, "so I really wanted programming that could make people see that we're not alone, and give them some healing practices."

Panelist Pediatric neurosurgeon Anthony Avellino -- the assistant provost for student wellness, health and safety at U-M -- will also be a panelist.

Avellino spoke slowly and frankly about his experiences, during a recent interview: "In 2009, I tried to take my life," he said . "I've had a lot of counseling. I've been through the employee assistance program.

"When I came forward and told my story in 2016, I realized that by telling my story and giving people coping tools, I can affect more lives than I'm able to as a pediatric neurosurgeon. I hope that my journey can give people hope, because no one should ever go to the brink like I did."

The third panelist, Abigail Waller, LMSW, is a counselor at Michigan State's Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS). She is also a bereaved parent, having lost a son to brain cancer in December 2013. Since then, she co-founded the Art For Charlie Foundation and the Children's Palliative Care Coalition of Michigan as part of her continuing effort to educate about grief.

"It's all somewhat connected," Miller said. "The doctor loses some patients to the same kind of cancer her son had, so our stories all kind of intersect. We happened to have two people here at the university who have both the experience and expertise."

Miller leans on meditation and writing to help her get through social distancing days, and emphasizes mindfulness and gratitude but also notes that people must confront their feelings of loss.

"Your pain is real. Your void is real. You shouldn't feel bad about that void, because it exists. But at the same time, I know I'm one of the lucky ones who has survived this pandemic so far. And by giving up some things now, I'm risking a little for a bigger reward, which is that when the world opens again, I'm still going to be a part of it. That's a blessing."

Avellino agrees, and adds a message for those considering breaking quarantine for "just one day," such as Christmas.

"I know this is a very hard time," he said, "but I can't emphasize enough how social distancing, mask wearing and hand hygiene are so critical at a time like this to take care of not just yourself, but your loved ones."

Avellino points to a number of safe and healthy ways to stay balanced and connected to others during this time. "Check in with friends and family," he said. "Not just to avoid the isolation, but in a way that allows you to really stay connected. Read about developing tools to deal with anxiety, which can help you, but then you can also use that knowledge to help others.

"Exercise. Eat better. Sleep better. It's not a bad thing to sleep more during this time. Sleeping is one of the most important things someone can do right now. Resting keeps your immune system strong, and gives you the ability to rejuvenate. There are many (mental health) resources out there, so if you're feeling depressed, asking for help is key."

Grief does not just apply to the death of a loved one, but the loss people everywhere are feeling right now. Loss of control. In 2020, some might say, loss of an entire calendar year -- birthdays, special holidays, family trips.

"The COVID-19 global pandemic has made many of us experience fear and anxiety, as well as depression," Avellino said. "Due to the isolation, the unknowns, the lack of structure, the financial uncertainty, upended plans, working long hours under threat of infection, new work-from-home realities, as well as childcare and elder care pressures... These stresses all impact our mental health and overall wellbeing.

"Over the next few months, our strength will continue to be tested, and our endurance will be tried. I often say, we must all be like bamboo. We have to bend easily, but snap back into shape without breaking."

Coming to the Motor City from Dayton, Ohio, Duante Beddingfield is the new arts and culture reporter at the Detroit Free Press. He can be reached at dbeddingfield@freepress.com.

If you go

"Grief During a Time of Joy"

Friday, 6-7:30 p.m.

Register here.

This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: U-M addresses seasonal grief in COVID-19 mental health panel discussion

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