Living life with anxiety: My personal perspective

(Editor's note: This series will explore various perspectives of those who live with anxiety and the complexity of the disorder.)

My anxiety disorder is something I deal with daily.

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety in the spring of 2014, after years of not understanding the root of my symptoms.

I have always been a nervous person. I have never liked being put in unfamiliar situations, and I certainly do not like making decisions.

I bite my nails, shake my foot, and run my fingers through my hair when I am uncomfortable.

I have mood swings and migraines.

It wasn't until it all got to be too much for me to handle on my own that I decided to go to the doctor and seek help.

I was immediately prescribed an anti-anxiety medication, which seemed to alleviate some of my symptoms.

Unfortunately, that didn't last. Over a year later, my medication seemed to be no match for my feelings of failure and uselessness.

I went back to the doctor, who informed me that the medication I had been prescribed was an "as-needed" medication, and prescribed Zoloft, which I now take daily.

Without my medication, I become an emotional wreck. I cry unnecessarily and become annoyed by things that I should let roll off my back.

I know my triggers. I don't do well with confrontation, I can't handle uncertainty, and I am constantly overthinking.

I have attacks when I least expect it, and it is momentarily debilitating.

I feel like a burden to those around me, and hate it when they feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me because of my disorder.

I cry harder when people call me "overly sensitive." I know that what I feel is more than just being sensitive.

I obsess over things that people usually don't give a second thought.

I make to do lists to help me focus, and then get overwhelmed by how much I have to do, leading me to not do anything at all.

Sometimes, I stay in bed all day because I am so mentally and physically exhausted, and then feel guilty for not getting things done.

I dwell on dreams that I have had, because they feel so real.

(How dare my amazing husband for cheating on me in my dreams!)

It is hard for someone who does not suffer from anxiety to get it.

My husband, as much as he tries to understand, admittedly doesn't understand it at all.

If only he could get in my head. If only people who do not suffer from this life-altering disorder could get inside of the heads of those who do, it would be one less thing that people with anxiety would have to worry about.

Because we do. We worry about everything.

We worry about what we are doing wrong, not doing enough of what we do right, and everything in between.

We also worry about people not understanding what we are going through.

I know that I am more than my disorder, but the feelings of failure and uncertainty are overwhelming.

Knowing what triggers me, I work daily to overcome my disorder. However, in the back of my mind, I know that at any moment, something could happen that sends me through a whirlwind of emotions.

So I fight every day to not lose to my disorder.

I graduated from Morehead State in 2012. I work a full-time job along with taking master's degree classes. My husband and I hunt and fish and spoil our nephew.

To see me, you would think I am "normal." I put in a lot of effort for people to not see me as a person with anxiety.

I know I am more than my anxiety disorder.

I also know my limitations.

When you have a disorder like anxiety or depression, you have to find what works for you.

For me, I found that I needed to take medication to get my disorder under control so that I could get back to the life that I was used to living.

That is a choice that each individual needs to make for themselves.

The key is that anxiety does not have to be a disorder that ruins your life. With the right treatment, a person with anxiety can live a normal life with few limitations.

I am living proof of that.